In a chaotic and tough world, you better have some good friends and fantasy…
by Elisabeth and William
Peggy, Breslau (Poland)
Having fear for what may come in your future – that’s not really yours, right?
A half year before I finished my studies, I had this thing… that you have to sit and think: Hmm, well, I have to plan what to do with my life. This is THE moment of decision… and you are going to be crazy about this question. I realised that plans are a kind of lies. You are lying to yourself because plans will never be like this in reality, because reality works with them. So, I planned something really light. ”Okay, after the studies, I will go home for half a year”.
Sometimes, I’m scared. I have this fear but it is not caused by society, I think. For many years, we really had little money with my Mum. I could not afford life in the way I wanted to. So, sometimes I have this fear, but I learned how to deal with it.
My Mum -sometimes- is a person from a certain background and she is asking me what I want to do with my life. I love these discussions. I am standing in the kitchen and telling her that even if I liked working in a customer service, it won’t be a job I could do for thirty years. Ten years from now on, maybe, only robots will be in customer services. So, That was not a one-time decision.
When I moved out, I was 15. My Mum was able to give me around 120 euros for the whole month, for everything. So I started cleaning private houses to have money for cinema. It was really tough. I was in a really good high school, most people there were from the upper class. They were children of lawyers and so. In the end, I liked them but the first years were tough. For years, I was the best and suddenly I’m in a different environment and everyone is making this competition of “who are you” and “where are you from”. Yes, I hate my secondary school, I would never do it again but I don’t regret that I moved out at 15 and moved to Wroclaw. I wanted to go there to learn about film and go to a cinema which we don’t even have in my hometown.
I’m not scared; but this is also because of my beliefs. Believing in karma, that everything comes back, and also that knowledge is a thing you cannot lose. I feel safe because I know a body is just a body, and this is just material world.
Come on! Let’s deal with it.
As a child, did you have a clue about who you would like to become?
Yeah! Since I saw „Lord of the rings“. I remember telling my Mum: “Hey, I want to make things like this”! I even was nine or ten.
So you wanted to be a magician or a filmmaker?
(Laughs) Back then, I thought to be a filmmaker… but now I think, I merely want to be a magician!
What do you mean by “things like this“?
I think something really impressive that takes you to another world and shows you that another world is possible even in this world.
Maybe a politician
No way! (Laughs)
Many people tell me that i should… because I am good at communication and people are willing to listen to me. This was quite a schizophrenic thing, because when as a child many of my friends were coming to me and telling me the stories of their lives… and their problems and everything. And I felt like a psychologist, even though I was only thirteen!
It’s still like this now, but I have more distance to myself. I’m not that pathetic anymore.
What is the most important to you?
Right now, I think friends are. When I finished BA in Warsaw I’ve spent few months in my hometown in the mountains. Back then my best friends and me, the three of us, had some tough times. I felt this family thing: That you have family in your friends. That you love them so much… And I had to move back to Wroclaw. Eventually, after three years of studying elsewhere… It was just before my birthday. They brought me a little cake and told me: “Hey, have a wish!” I was standing in my room and looking at my friends, I could not find any wish. It was this moment of pure happiness – when you feel you are living in this moment. It cannot be better.
Money and jobs… What is your place in this working world?
I don’t really know. I’m trying to find out right now. I started a NGO with a friend… we will be promoting Czech culture and the cultures of other neighbour countries. I just realized that even though I like it, it is not the thing I want to do. Living from donations. At least, because making cultural projects is a bit a luxury. I am a social person and I really love to work in some social environment; like with children with poor opportunities.
I always wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to be a teacher of arts, like making really revolutionary classes: “Today, we are all going to draw what we are dreaming of!” I would like to do this. I don’t know.
I am translating from Czech. I’m just starting with it, I’m still enthusiastic about it and I can make money doing this.
I don’t think that working for money, particularly thinking about money, is the way to be happy. I know it is utopia and not many people believe in it. Maybe it will take some time, but its possible to earn money by doing what you like to do.
It’s quite funny because you just answered the question you are asking yourself: What would I really like to do. And you had the answer with teaching. You have a really clear view what you would like to do.
But it takes time. I have to think about it, more. Of course, it is good to go to some pedagogical studies and then got to school and to destroy the system from the inside. It would be really nice but of course it would be really tough. So maybe it’s better not to go for another study time, but to start working with children somewhere.
Also, some Czech film a few weeks ago reminded me that I always wanted to be a pantomime. So I’m thinking of going to a school for pantomime for 2 years, starting in October. I think pantomimes are magicians. They really make people happy for a moment. Pantomimes are showing people little things that they can be happy about.
Yesterday you told me your plans till you’ll get 27…
I’m staying in Wroclaw till the end of 2016 because, by then, it will be the European Capital of Culture, so it will be good to do things in culture. Then, I’m going to some master degree to go for another Erasmus to Madrid, I guess. I want to go for another scholarship to Vienna, and after that to South America with another grant program. And I want to go to India for one year to do anything; but I don’t know when I will earn money to do it. You know, there are many things you can do. If I will spend two years learning pantomime and working with children and then I also want to go to some film course. Not to a film school because that would take five years. All the film schools are outside, not in my hometown. I will be 27 when I get back from India.
And then you will get married?
I think I will get married on the way! I would prefer that!
This is also a thing I’m thinking about: Who do I want to meet? The guy I would like to meet would have to be a freelancer. Plus he would probably also have crazy plans of going somewhere and somewhere! So, of course everything will change. I know, all these plans will change.
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